The Pain Without You
by Szy
Summary: Dying, torture, pain.


Szy: Ok my first try at an angst story. Hope you like it! Kurama will you do the disclaimer?  
  
Kurama: Certainly! Szy does not own Yu Yu Hakusho  
  
Szy: Sadly... Now on to the fic! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The Pain Without You The pain. The searing pain in my chest. The blade slashes down in my chest yet I refuse to cry out. But the pain it is more intense than ever as my blood drains from my body. Pale blue lights. I could make out three no four pale blue lights that followed my vision. I heard little crackles of sound through waves of pain that surged through my pathetic body. How could I let this happen? How could I let the one thing that I promised my self never to let happen, happen? Pain. More pain. It flooded through my thigh as once again I was struck. They were screams I was hearing. Screams of joy. Of pleasure. That of one sick mind that was enjoying every moment of my horrible torture. My only wish was that death would be merciful and life would let go soon. Then I heard it. Another sound. It too was muffled for my hearing still blinked but I was sure I heard it. It was another scream. Not like the others. This one was not joyous in any way. It sounded painful. Then I noticed that it was none other than I that was making the horrendous sound. All my pride. All my honor that I had worked so very hard to save was all washed away by that one little sound. I felt blood began to find its way up my throat. I coughed and spit up the red, acidy liquid. My eyes were forced closed as I began to seep out of conciseness. No. No. I could not let go! I could not! His face, I could not bear to see it face, the very face that I saw before things began to become fuzzy. His face, he was smiling, he was happy. He...he was smiling. I felt something warm and wet fall down my cheek. Tears. I knew they would come. I had tried so hard to hold them back. But his face, his beautiful face, covered in blood; his blood. The last memory I would have of him was his face covered in blood. Why did I have to be so pathetic! Why could I not be stronger! Why did I not save him?! Why did I not rescue him?! Did I not promise myself to do so with my life?! So why am I alive now? Or am I alive? What was happening anyway? Yet another wave of pain enveloped my whole body yet this time I did not scream. Instead I cried. Not of the pain, of what I lost. 'goodbye my byakko. I love you' My horrible, horrible imagination brought back those words painting a vivid picture in the darkness of my closed eyes. I forced them open. So much more willing to face death in the eyes than my lovers happy, sad face that haunted my very existence. The horrible, disgusting thing that stood before me was the most revolting thing that I had ever laid eyes on. And yet what sickened me the most was that this person was someone whom I used to have trust in, someone whom I used to talk to and share my feelings with. But now, now I see nothing more than a mere piece of dirt. No I see something lower than dirt, someone who would go to such lengths as to take away everything that mattered to one person then torture them until death. And yet as the repulsive sword plunged through my tattered body again and again it dawned on me that death, it wasn't really that bad. At least now a lot of the pain had subsided. I blame that on the lack of blood in my body from the wound in my chest. My eyes were once again forced closed as blood sprayed into my eyes. The terrible burning sensation that flooded my eyes furiously scraping at them. 'I love you' No. No! I tried terribly to force my eyes to open but they would not. 'I love you' again and again his last words played through my mind like a broken record. I could not bear it. It was tearing my soul apart. Then everything went dark. I saw the faint outline of two figures. I could barley make out that one had long red hair and one with silver hair. No. They were...they were me and...him. He...he was smiling again. Like when he left me. Smiling. He reached down to the ground and picked up what seemed to be a white ball of something wet. Snow. Wait. Since when was I outside. Then it occurred to me. This was some type of illusion. He laughed. I laughed. This scene that I watched became more painful by the minute. He dodged one in the snow fight and ran up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. Tears stung my eyes as I watched the Christmas scene replay in my mind. He leaned into me and whispered something. I strained real hard to hear what he was saying to the other me. 'I love you' No. No!! I forced my eyes open as my body began to glow. My life was fading. I only wish that I could finish this horrible...thing that stood before me though I knew that to be an impossible deed. Then he leaned forward and cupped my chin in his hand. The vile beast. He said something though it was taking all my strength to keep my eyes open so I could not hear it. Then he leaned forward and roughly kissed me, his rancid breath stinging my senses. I would have bit him if I had the energy. He grinned and I almost puked. He once again brought up that atrocious blade and lightly touched my neck with it. "le-...fi-...sh...i...s" that was all I could make out before he withdrew the sword and slashed strait through my back. Death, the inevitable death was finally upon me and strangely, I felt no sort of resistance to let myself go for I knew living a life without you would simply not be a life at all. Goodbye world maybe I will see you again if I have the chance. Goodbye. I then faded without a word into utter darkness. Szy: Ok just for the record the "lover" in the story is Kurama (for you people that are confused) and the dude that is killing me (ok that sounds weird)is my friend Crea. Please R&R! No flames please!

Kurama: Wow that's the first time I have actually seen you finish a story Szy.  
  
Szy: --;; gee thanks  
  
Kurama: blinks 


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